Build me up Buttercup

Anyone want to help throw dead grass onto a cops yard? Well, actually I’m just giving it back. He tossed it over the fence first. Now, I am resending the favor. But, I don’t think he has a horse in his yard of which he has to worry about eating the dead grass along with gas residue. I could go over to his house and ask him nicely to stop, but a hard lesson is a remembered lesson. Plus, I’m difficult. Plus, it’d be way more amusing to do that to a cop. And how many times do I have to tell people not to feed my fucking horse. Honestly, I give him enough treats. Okay, once in awhile they can give him apples …great, go for it, carrots …good, sugar cubes …I say lucky horse. When it comes to bananas, onions (store bought, which still had the elastics on them), can lids, and pineapples …I say fuck off. I’m sick of tossing garbage (not just “food”) back over. Not to mention all the fucking golf balls in my field ...well, my dad has a bit to do with that. I told him he should stop. Are people trying to poison if not break my horse’s leg so that we have to put him down? Ugh. Fucking morons of Gimli. Do I really need signs that say, “don’t feed the animals”?

LOUD NOISES!!!
Anyways, here’s something to cheer me up.
And a Happy Birthday to Calco and Christo-pho!

you can't see, see me ...like this

Well, I've lost a piece of my heart. When I found out Steve Irwin died, I couldn't believe it. I really enjoyed watching him on tv, he had so much passion for those critters. I can't accept that he's dead, poor bloke. By Crikey! It wasn't even by a reptile or amphibian. Oh, Steve-o what did you get ourself into...

However, luckily, Lindy came into town and cheered me up. ...Yes! I said LINDY! Right in The Cavern. He played for us last night. T-bag came with. Ugh, it was sooo good! So precious and adorable, he's one of the most humble people I've ever met (in the good way). And I could steal his voice and keep it in a box. But I suppose that's the same as a music box or stereo. Then we talked for a bit after the show, but he had family there, so not as much as I would have enjoyed. In short, Lindy = creamed jeans.

There's no wrong way to fuck a girl with no legs, just tell her you love her as she's crawling away

What the fuck?

Here's an average joke that I did not personally make:
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down atthe bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word.His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing The drunk leans onthe table one more time and says: "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says, "Go home Grandpa, you're drunk"

Check out these tough bikers. Oh, so funny.