It rubs the lotion on its skin.

'Tis the season for dry itchy skin.

I’m almost done my Christmas shopping, woo! Legs hurt, my fingers smell like cologne, and I saw the cutest jack russell terrier pups (little Wishbones) today.

So Tracy hasn’t stayed at her apartment the whole time Calvin has come back. Well, except for the time when we were all there drinking and she stayed the night just so she could “cuddle” with me. I told Calvin she must be afraid of him or something.

Since Tracy is heading over there tonight, so she’ll be there when Chicken comes home, I had this brilliant idea for Calco. First I told him he should dress up and scare her. After mentioning that this most hilariously awesome idea came into my perverse little head. I suggested he should dress up in her underwear and wear her socks on his arms, maybe put on some of her perfume or scented lotion, and perhaps be dancing around to Tracy's Mariah Carey CD. See, he could get all into it. He could have some candles lit and be dancing with one of her scarves. Then when Tracy walks in he’d act all surprised, almost as much as she would be. Man, that would creep the fuck out of her. lol. I’m brilliant. Just picture how funny that would be. OR, I have another idea, he could hang her underwear up all over the apartment. Then when T walks in he'd be like "...I did the laundry." And that would be f'ed up ...but funny! Fucked up because it's just her stuff that's hanging, but funny. I'd like to get that on tape.